Depending when I click “publish” on this post it’ll either be my last day officially married, or my first day in about 9 and a half years of not being married. May 8th is the official end, even though it was really over early on last year. I keep wondering how I feel about such a milestone and really can’t come up with any kind of solid qualifier for it, though maybe I don’t need to. The truth is it’s more depressing than I expected it to be, but it’s also more exciting. In some ways I feel like I’m about to take the final step away from a massive part of my life, a part that honestly I do look back fondly on for the most part. While at the same time I feel like a kid about ready to embark on a funhouse ride for the first time, a bit scared but super excited to see what’s behind those doors. I mean in reality tomorrow is no different than today. It’s different than last year for sure, but not so different than most of the last 6 months so why does crossing an official date even make a difference? I dunno, but it does for some reason so I guess I just have to roll with it.
That said, I think I’ve learned a hell of a lot over the last year and while I’m not stupid enough to say “always” or “never,” here’s two general concepts I’m going to try and keep in mind in the future.
- Stop worrying / thinking about what happened yesterday. There’s no way to change it, and it’s not worth obsessing over. Learn the lessons and move on, try to make new mistakes rather than repeat the ones you already made. There’s no shortage of new mistakes you can make, why waste time on ones you’ve already checked off the list.
- Stop making any assumptions about what tomorrow will bring. It hasn’t happened yet and there is no guarantee it ever will. If you spend too much time thinking about tomorrow you miss today and that’s something you can’t get back. Don’t pass up things you can do today, in most cases missing out on doing something is much worse than doing it and wishing you hadn’t.
Basically there’s no changing what has happened and it’s pointless to think about how things might be if something had happened differently. And the way to do that is own the choices you make and keep moving on to the next one. What is important for me at this point is to not put myself in any situations where I end up wishing I’d [ done something / said something / met someone / kissed someone / at least tried ]. Things are too unpredictable and potentially short lived to take the safe and easy route. Of course I’m saying all this now and being all lofty about it but might change my mind and love the safe easy route tomorrow. Who knows. Anyway, here’s two quotes by folks much wiser than me to end this thing right.
“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. ” – Chuck Palahniuk
“Do or do not, there is no try.” – Yoda