Wherein I write about those things I always write about as if trying to talk myself into something.
We’ve been in Vienna for almost a month now and yesterday Tara asked if I missed home yet, and the answer was something of a “sort of, kinda, some things maybe… not everything.” Me indecisive? Shocking I know. The truth is I miss my friends. I miss “my stuff” and “my bed.” I miss my neighborhood and knowing where I can pop out and get food at any point. I miss the comfort things, but there’s lots I don’t miss too, or rather, I haven’t thought about since I left, so I must not miss it that much. I miss my bike, though to be honest with myself I miss that when I’m home too as I haven’t been riding much at all.
I’ve written before about how longer term travel (that is, more than a few days) is an excellent way to assess your relationship with the things you have in your life. For example, I brought 1 jacket with me to Vienna. I knew it would be cold but I didn’t want to think about it so I brought my heaviest jacket only. Most days I’ve been a little warmer than I would have liked. Granted I’ve also had sweatshirts and things under the jacket, but putting things to use like this really lets you know what works and what dosen’t. I keep find myself wishing I had the one jacket that I had with me years ago on this trip, the one in my closet at home. And I keep finding myself thinking about the jacket that I threw out after I moved to Los Angeles from Chicago thinking “I’ll never need this again!”
I brought my camera (duh) and lenses of 3 different focal lengths, thinking that I’d really want to have options on the trip. Instead it’s made me realize how comfortable I am with one of those, and how I almost have to struggle to find an excuse to use the others. And asking myself why I’m struggling, there’s something pure about one camera and one lens, and perhaps I should embrace that? I talked about how much I’ve been thinking about stuff, or rather the right stuff in my last post, because traveling makes you think about it. What will you need, what do you want, what can you do without. What makes your life easier, what makes it more difficult. When you bring something on a long trip and never use it, that says so much.
For whatever reason, Vienna has become a place where I assess my situation and edit to correct course. I like having a place like that. This month has been hectic due to all kinds of tight scheduling and I don’t feel that I’ve been especially productive, but I think I’ve had a chance to think a lot and I know what I want out of next year. Vaguely anyway. I know what I don’t want, and I know what I want to figure out. This hasn’t been a major revelation, if anything it’s confirmed my desire for commitment.
We’re heading home in a few days, and it’s a new year in a few days. We’ll see what that brings.