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[update: all translations in the comments, thanks!!] I bought a vegan passport a few years ago and have used it traveling through various non-english speaking countries. Basically, it’s a paragraph about being vegan translated into a bajillion different languages - the idea being anywhere in the world you are you should be able to show it to someone at a restaurant and they should be able to bring you something vegan. This seems like a good idea, but I think the execution was a bit off.

The biggest problem is that the paragraph spends too much time talking about “ethics” and basically makes you sound like a pain in the ass, and that isn’t really very convincing. I’ve gotten mixed results using it and on more than one occasion gotten something of a “that’s dumb, no” reaction. I’ve had friends help edit some of the translations to get right to the point, but unfortunately I forgot it in Los Angeles and won’t be able to bring it on this trip. Because of that, I’m hoping some readers here can help me with something similar, but more effective. In efforts to avoid the ugly food poisoning like side effects of tainted food, I need the following text translated into French, German, and Dutch. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

“Hello. I have an allergy to animal products and can not eat any meat or dairy products. This includes items such as milk, butter, and eggs as well as any kind of chicken, beef, or fish stock in broth. Could you please suggest something from your menu which is free from these items.

I could become very sick if I eat the wrong thing, however I understand this might be an unusual request, and very much appreciate your help. Thank you.”

I know saying allergy instead of vegan might be cheating, but over the last 15 years I’ve found it to be much more effective for two main reasons. First of all, I’m not a flag waiver. I’m not trying to “spread the word” or change anyone’s mind, so what someone else calls it really makes no difference to me. I just want something to eat, and the less things standing in my way for that the better. Secondly, while 90% of the people I might ask this of are more than happy to comply, there’s also 10% which take offense to it for some reason. Those are the folks who think it’s funny to hide meat or cheese on a veggie sandwich (which is about as rude as spitting in someones food) with the added bonus of 24-48 hours of diarrhea and vomiting. Telling those kinds of people it’s an ethical choice gives them a reason to mess with you, telling them it’s medical and asking for their help generally brings positive results. Last year a restaurant in Berlin served me a veggie plate that I’m fairly certain they cooked in butter, and that evening and next day were extremely unfun.

So anyway, any help with those translations would be a life saver.

Just logged into facebook and was greeted with approx 150 friend requests which was just too much to deal with so I blanket ignored all of them. If I do I actually know you and you sent a request recently please resend it and I’ll try to be more on top of it. I’m kinda weird about it though and for the most part I try to only be “friends” with people I’m actually friends with, and generally won’t approve someone I’ve never met or talked to just because we have X number of mutual friends. That said, if we are working on similar stuff or interests, just include a note with the request that that will help a lot. Also, just a heads up in efforts to get more use out of the site I will probably be trimming down folks who I don’t know that well who flood me with invites to events (especially ones in cities I’m not in) or groups. Please don’t take this personally, it’s really just trying to get a better grasp on the signal to noise.

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In the past few years I’ve had to rent more than my fair share of rental cars. I’ve rented from Hertz, Enterprise, Budget, Dollar, and a handful of smaller local companies. Some of those were better than others, but rarely did I find a reason to try to go back to the same rental company the next time. In fact after joining Hertz’s loyalty program hoping that I could establish some kind of regular purchase/reward deal with them I found myself constantly playing middle man between what Hertz corporate would tell me, and the privately owned Hertz Local Edition shops that acted like Hertz corporate was screwing them and it was my fault. Combined with them frequently not even having cars available I gave up.

I bitched about this on twitter and someone suggested I try out National and holy crap, I can’t believe I never tried them before. I’m seriously kicking myself for the last 2 years of rentals that weren’t with them. As a member of their Emerald Club (free sign up online) you get to choose any car on the lot and all at the same price. Yeah, a minivan costs the same as a compact, a cost which is generally cheaper than what you’d get a piece of crap car from any other place. For instance, I have a Toyota Prius for a week right now, it’s costing me $170. Last time I rented from them I had a Nissan Altima for a weekend, that was under $100. And seriously, they have rad cars, they aren’t the super cheep-o model you’ve never heard of, I’ve got a Prius right now for crying out loud.

Anyway, literally this is the first time I’ve ever been amped about renting a car so I thought I’m pass that on here.

To answer a few questions I’ve been asked frequently in the last two days, yes, Tara and I are really engaged. It really happened on twitter. It wasn’t planned or rehearsed. We didn’t expect the overwhelming reaction. It was totally spur of the moment. I’m psyched beyond belief and can’t wait to see what will happen next.

Tara already wrote a bit about her take on it all and I wanted to echo much of what she said and throw a few of my own cents into the ring simply because I haven’t said much about it. For all the guts I regularly spill here I tend to lean more towards the “here’s what I’m trying to figure out” or “here’s what I’m thinking about” side of things and rarely venture into the “this is how I feel” zone. Well, I’m venturing there now. As you may have guessed from the whole marriage proposal thing I’m madly, deeply and completely in love with Tara Brown. I’m floored that she feels the same way, even more so because if you’ve been reading my blog for a while you know I’m the last one who ever thought this would happen.

I met Tara in Austin earlier this year, she was a friend of some friends and we instantly clicked. We talked a lot in the following months and about a week after a road trip we took, over text messages no less, we both confessed how infatuated we were with each other and how we both wanted to put some effort into “us” and see where it might lead. I dare say that since then, every day that we’ve been together and every day that we’ve been apart, those feelings have only gotten stronger. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her, hell I can’t wait to spend another 5 minutes with her.

So why so soon, and why ask over Twitter? If there’s one thing I’ve learned through everything I’ve been through it’s that there’s no time like the present. I’ve been saying that my whole life, but I finally started living it and it changed everything for me. You only live once and when you are sure of something there’s no point in waiting. You regret the things you don’t do way more than the things you do, right? So I dove in. We dove in. Last month Tara wrote in a blog post about our relationship saying “I can definitely report that being with Sean means lack of routine. We pretty much plan things spur of the moment.” And that’s true. Our entire relationship has been that way and it’s working famously, so why should the next step be any different. I can’t find the first thing I ever sent her on Twitter (since archives don’t go back that far anymore) but needless to say we’ve been using that as a main form of communication since day one and it just made sense. For us anyway, and that’s all that matters.

Lots of people have been asking about the future. Who is moving where, when is the wedding, what color will the brides maids dresses be, etc. My reply to all of this is have you met us? Christ, we barely have solid plans 48 hours in advance, do you you think any of that is confirmed yet? That said, this and a few other factors make it fairly safe to say that I’ll be around SF a lot more in the near future but where we’ll be a year from now is anyone’s guess. But stay tuned, I’m sure it’s going to be a wild ride.